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- How many downs-syndrome toddlers does it take to run a steam train?As many as you can fit in the furnace.
- How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?She fits into your wife's clothes.
- Who kicked a football at Derek Branning!?
- Why do **** websites have the "Google plus" sharing thing?I don't want everyone knowing I use Google plus.
- How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house.
- How many paedophiles does it take to change a light bulb?My wife is more concerned why I didn't employ an electrician.
- Why can't Cinderella play football?Because she's a woman.
- who would have guessed that the cure for cancer was facebook likes ?
- How do you know if someone has an iPad?They show you a picture of it on their iPhone.
- Why did the kitten cross the road?Because my football's got a puncture.
- How come African people have no money to provide clean water and education, but they can afford a camera and send us videos of them?
- How did everyone find out about Google?
- Why does everyone want to cuddle Obama?'Cos President Sarkozy.
- How do you confuse a ginger person?Send him a friend request on facebook.
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